Broken Wings
by Mana-Garmr
Summary: If anyone had told him at that time in his life that in four years he would be sent to a mental hospital, he would have laughed." --- Not part of The Reaper arc. More of me abusing poor Reno. AU, abuse, and yaoi. Eventual RenoxRude.
1. Prologue

_When Reno Sinclair was eleven, all he wanted to do in life was start a rock band with his brother and their friends. If anyone had told him at that time in his life that in four years he would be sent to a mental hospital, he would have laughed. If anyone had told him the exact same thing only a year later, he wouldn't have been laughing any more._

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_**Prologue**_

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2008

The outer walls of Twilight Mental Hospital were built of faded brick, a brown-gray color that was aesthetically pleasing to the eye. The inner walls were flat white. The first and second floors, which held the somewhat stable patients, were decorated with paintings and posters to add color and life to the building and to break up the monotony. The third floor, designed to hold the not-quite-dangerous but still highly unstable patients, had a few pictures on the walls, but they were either pieces of soft paper taped up or paintings solidly encased behind shatter-proof glass. The fourth floor had nothing but blank white walls, gleaming tiles, and stainless steel doors six inches thick. Practically the only bit color on the entire floor was the bright red hair of one of the inmates.

When Reno Sinclair was eleven, all he wanted to do in life was start a rock band with his brother and their friends. If anyone had told him at that point in his life that in four years he would be in the maximum security ward of a mental hospital, he would have laughed. If anyone had told him the exact same thing only a year later, he wouldn't have been laughing any more.

He spent his days in a well-padded room, either strapped to his bed or bound up in a straitjacket and face mask. The doctors weren't concerned about him hurting anyone else; rather, they kept him contained to protect him from himself. Less than a week after being admitted to the hospital, he had clawed his wrists open with his bare hands, sending him back to the hospital that he'd arrived from. The straitjacket had followed, but the doctors hadn't counted on his tenacity. Two weeks later, they found him in his room bleeding, having chewed through the shoulder of the straitjacket and into his own flesh in another attempt to bleed out. The mask was introduced after his return from the hospital that time. As a precaution, his bed was removed every day after he was given his morning medication and returned to his straitjacket; the orderlies were concerned he might try to beat himself to death against the bars. His room during the day was entirely barren of any furniture or other objects that he might use to hurt himself.

His face mask and straitjacket were removed at mealtimes so that he could eat and allow the blood to circulate normally through his arms; he was kept mildly sedated and heavily guarded during these times, just in case. The only other time his mask was taken off was during his sessions with Dr. Gast.

Reno had sessions four times a week: Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. He was not sedated for these appointments, and so although the mask was removed, the straight jacket wasn't. Despite his restraints, however, this was the most freedom he ever really received, and he made use of his ability to speak with clarity by mocking Dr. Gast, answering the doctor's questions with questions of his own, or with cryptic or meaningless statements meant to confuse Dr. Gast and avoid giving him any real information about himself.

In spite of Reno's intentions, this very act told Dr. Gast a lot about his patient. He was a brilliant teenager, capable of complex reasoning despite his supposed mental instability. Gast privately felt that Reno was more emotionally damaged than mentally deficient, and said as much in his reports. Nevertheless, he couldn't be safely released into society – or even to a lower-security ward of the hospital – until he showed vast improvement in his behavior, something which Gast began to worry would never happen. Four months into his internment, Reno had yet to really answer any questions about his parents or what had happened to him, and there was no indication that he wouldn't attempt suicide again if given the chance. Many of the other doctors considered the boy to be a lost cause, and questioned why Gast continued trying.

Sometimes, Gast couldn't help but wonder that himself.

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**A/N:**

Where did the last name Sinclair come from, anyway? Is it in some FF7 manga or something? Because tons of people use it for Reno's last name, and it fits remarkably well.

Anyway, this is a new story that I've been tossing around for a long time. I know I haven't updated The Reaper arc for a while, but any of you who are writers yourselves know how hard it is to update something when you've got another story stuck in your head. This is going to be a fairly angsty fic; I can't seem to write multi-chapter stories about Reno without abusing him severely.

That said, there's probably going to be plenty of stuff in here that would never actually happen in real life… oh, the joys of AU :p

Reviews are much appreciated, and as usual feel free to point out mistakes :)


	2. Ch 1 The Beginning

**Warnings:** Molestation, Incest

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_**Chapter One – The Beginning**_

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Fall, 2008

"_Reno. You've been here for four months. Why won't you talk to me, tell me about what happened? Don't you want to be out of that jacket one day? Released to a lower level? What does avoiding my questions gain you?"_

"_What will answering your questions gain me? Released from the jacket? Moved down a floor? I don't want to be here at all; why bother if it won't get me what I really want?"_

"_What is it you really want?"_

"_What does anyone ever really want? I want to be free."_

"_Do you think dying will gain you that freedom? It won't, Reno; it will only gain you a six-foot plot of earth."_

"_Who says I'm talking about physical freedom?"_

"_Tell me what happened. Tell me how it all started."_

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Fall, 2004

"You guys ready for another 'great new year' of school?" Axel smirked, making quotation marks in the air with his fingers as he said it. The others all laughed.

"Well, at least we've moved up a level, right?" Zack bounced a little on his toes, eyes sparkling in the direction of Destiny Junior High, their destination. Reno rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yeah, sure. We moved up to a new school… right up to the _bottom_ of the totem pole, Zack. I don't think that counts as moving up in the world." He glanced over at Axel, smirking a little at his twin. Zack never did see the downside of things… much like Sora, who was due at _any_ minute now…

On cue, the trio heard a shout and turned to see Sora running their direction, waving his arms and hollering at them to wait up. His own twin, Roxas, followed at a slower pace, rolling his eyes at his brother's antics. Who was ever this excited about the first day of school, anyway? Zack bounced over to the short brunette, and the two began chatting excitedly about the new school. Roxas rolled his eyes again, strolling up alongside Axel. That was right, Zack.

"Hey Rox, ready to go be one of the 'little kids' again?" Roxas eyed Reno suspiciously.

"You know, I really can't tell if you're mocking me for being short or just blathering about being in the youngest grade again."

Axel laughed, giving Reno a high-five. "Mocking him _and_ complaining about school – double points!" Roxas shook his head, smiling a little as the five approached the steps of the school. New school or not, at least some things never changed.

Reno peered around as soon as they entered the school courtyard. Their group was a little early, so the school campus was still mostly empty; there was one person, however, who always beat them to school, every day of every year without fail. With the campus this deserted, he shouldn't be too hard to spot…

"Aha! There he is. Hey Zack, come on!" Reno flashed a grin and a peace sign at Axel and the Strife twins before grabbing Zack and heading across the courtyard, making a beeline for his best friend, Rude. "Hey Rude, you know it's bad luck to show up that early on the first day of school, right?" Axel laughed to himself, watching Rude sigh and shake his head before turning to Roxas and Sora.

"Come on guys, let's go see who else is here already, and find our homerooms."

* * *

The day passed relatively quickly for everyone. Since Destiny Islands was such a small place, they all had classes together throughout the day, even those who were in some of the advanced classes. Since it was the first day of school, most of the teachers simply went over their syllabi, passed out textbooks, and let the students talk amongst themselves. Lunchtime was equally relaxed; lunch periods were determined by grade at this school, so the younger students were left to themselves to eat and chat with each other about their day so far.

Much to the surprise of some of the sixth-graders, even the hallways between classes were hassle-free. Perhaps the rumors about the sixth-graders getting pushed around by the eighth-graders was just a myth to scare the new students, or perhaps the presence of Zack's older brother, Angeal, and his group of friends, only in seventh grade but still a very formidable group, deterred any potential bullies. Whatever the cause, the younger kids found the day to be remarkably fun and stress-free. By the end of the school day, everyone was too relaxed and cheerful to notice that Reno was being quieter than normal, his blue eyes flicking frequently to the clock on the wall.

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"Hey, are you guys coming over today to practice?" Demyx, one of Axel's close friends, looked at the brother expectantly, his mohawked hair ruffling a little in the breeze that kicked up as they stood around outside the school.

Axel nodded automatically with a grin, but Reno shook his head, frowning. "I can't, I have some stuff to do around the house before I can hang out. Plus homework." Axel and Demyx gaped at him.

"Homework? Reno, it's the first day of school!"

Reno shuffled uncomfortably. "I'm in that advanced math class, remember? We already got our first homework assignment, due Wednesday. Plus Dad wanted me to sweep and mop the floors today after school." Demyx rolled his eyes.

"Sweep and mop the floors? You're like Cinderella, dude. Meet us after you're done then? If the homework isn't due until Wednesday, then you can just do it tomorrow!"

"Yeah, maybe." He smiled briefly, and neither of the other two boys noticed the bitter unhappiness that tinged it.

* * *

Their father's car was in the driveway when Reno got home, and he sighed. Another day of job-hunting failed, then. James Sinclair used to be a computer analyst with one of the companies on the main island, but the entire country was in a recession, and he had lost his job early in the summer. Their mother, Aimee, still worked as a manager at one of the local restaurants, but with two teenage boys in the house, money was tight with only one parent working. To make things worse, James had taken his layoff personally, offended that his wife was now the sole provider for the family. Axel, the younger and more outgoing of the twins, was away from the house most of the time, and if he noticed any change in his father's behavior, he never said anything. Reno, on the other, wasn't so lucky. With their mother out working and Axel out with his friends, Reno was the one who received the brunt of his father's displeasure. At first it had presented itself in the form of rough handling, and a smack on the face or shoulder every now and then, but lately things had changed, and not for the better.

Reno opened the door quietly, hoping that his father was in his room and wouldn't hear him come in. Luck appeared to be on his side, since he wasn't confronted at the door, so he crept upstairs to drop his bag in his room. His father was waiting for him there.

Reno stopped short upon seeing his father standing in his bedroom, unsure of what to do. James simply stared at him for a long moment, face devoid of expression. Finally, he spoke.

"How was school?"

Reno shifted, eyes darting from side to side in nervousness. There was no way his dad was standing there in his room wanting to have a normal conversation. "It was fine…"

"Homework?" Reno swallowed.

"A math assignment. It isn't due until Wednesday though…" His father frowned, and Reno knew his attempts at getting out of this situation were in vain.

"You'll do it right now." He pointed at the desk in the corner of the room, and Reno hung his head, walking over to the desk and pulling out his textbook and a pad of paper. He didn't notice his father coming closer until he spoke, standing right behind him. "Take your shirt off first." Reno closed his eyes. Nope, no way of getting out of this at all. He pulled his shirt off, lifting it from the bottom hem slowly, the way James preferred, before sitting down at his desk and beginning his assignment. If his father wanted any more acknowledgement of his presence there, he would say so.

Reno focused on the textbook in front of him, doing his best to ignore the hands that stroked down his back and sides, massaging his skin slightly. He tried to ignore the wet kisses to the outer rims of his ears, the little licks and nips at the back of his neck and across his shoulder blades. He continued working when those wandering hands slipped below the waistband of his jeans, unhindered by any kind of underwear because he knew his father didn't like them. His only reaction to the fingers stroking the base of his penis was a slight tremble in his hand, blocked from his father's view by his shoulder. He didn't react at all when those hands squeezed his buttocks, or when a calloused finger slipped down to tease along the crack.

When the hands retreated, followed by the sound of a zipper being pulled down, he didn't stop working, but arced his back a little, making the groove along his spine more pronounced between his back muscles and shoulder blades, the way he was expected to. When his father ground against him, moaning, and reached around to play with his nipples, he fought down the shudder that threatened to give away his fear and revulsion. And when at last his father came against his back and left him to clean up the mess himself, he wiped his back off with a towel, pulled his shirt back on, and returned to his homework. He didn't even cry after his father left the room; the tears had ended weeks ago.

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2008

"_Why didn't you ever tell anyone?"_

_A shrug. "Didn't we already talk about the different between physical and mental freedom?" They hadn't, really; the question had come up before but it was one of those topics that Reno always turned away from. He understood what the boy meant however, even if he knew that they would eventually need to discuss it in order for the teen to move past it._

"_Did anything change that semester? The rest of that school year?"_

_Another shrug. "I'm not here in a straitjacket because I sat in a chair while my dad got off against my back. I figured that was obvious."_

"_What else happened that school year?"_

"_Is it time for lunch yet? I'm hungry."_

_A glance at the clock. "I suppose we can stop now. The orderlies will take you back to your cell to eat." He frowned, watching as one of the orderlies replaced Reno's face mask for the trip back through the hallways. "I'm glad you finally chose to answer some of my questions. Your behavior over the last week has calmed considerably; perhaps soon we can dispense with the mask, and the sedatives and jacket at mealtimes. You might be able to start feeding yourself soon."_

_Reno shrugged; the mask was back in place so his words were muffled when he responded. "Will it ever really matter? The 'little victories' don't make a difference in the long run, when the bigger picture doesn't change."_

"_You never know. Think about it, at any rate. Perhaps next session you'll be willing to continue talking."_

"_Whatever."_

_Dr. Gast shut off the tape recorder, and the orderlies led Reno away._

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A/N:

I plan on doing the flashback thing until Reno's story of his past catches up with his present in the mental hospital; then the story will progress with a normal timeline for the most part.

It's been a while since I've been in middle school, so if the kids sound or act more mature than they should, my apologies. I'll just blame it on kids growing up fast nowadays :p

Reno never really catches a break in my stories, does he?

**Favrite of Chaos – **thanks for the review :) Hopefully you're right, and I'll have an update for one of the other stories sometime soon.

Reviews, mistakes, etc etc.


	3. Ch 2 Rumors

**Warnings:** More molestation and incest, to a worse degree this time

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Chapter Two – Rumors

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_Fall, 2008_

"_Let's continue where we left off last time. We were discussing your sixth grade year, the year that it all started."_

"_You remembered from two days ago with your notes and tape recording. Great job."_

"_We discussed how it started, and I asked you what changed."_

"_I'm not going to sit here and give you a detailed accounting of every little thing that happened to me, if that's what you're after. Things escalated."_

"_Escalated?"_

"_Escalated. To become or cause something to become greater, more serious, or more intense, or to increase (usually rapidly) by stages. Past tense, obviously. Encarta and the American Heritage dictionaries, in case you're curious."_

"_You have a very detailed memory."_

"_No. I have a __**perfect**__ memory. They tested me in fourth grade. Not just photographic; it doesn't have to be something I've seen or read. I remember __**everything**__. They told me it was a gift; I think they're idiots, personally. I guess they never figured the kinds of things I'd be forced to remember though."_

"_I can understand how difficult it must…"_

"_Do __**you**__ have a perfect memory?"_

"_No."_

"_Then you have absolutely no way of understanding "how difficult" it is. So, forgive me for refusing to give you a blow-by-blow account of my life, but believe me, I don't need to talk to you to remember it."_

"_**Do**__ you remember it all, though? It's not really the point of this, the point is to get you to talk about it and work through the mental and emotional issues that it's caused, but do you really remember it all, or have you blocked it away? A perfect memory doesn't prevent you from being able to compartmentalize your thoughts, and avoid remembering the things that have hurt you."_

"_Compartmentalize… Is that something normal people can do? Because I've got the dictionary memorized, but I still don't understand what that means, how it works. I can't just block out the bad parts of my life; they're all I have of the past four years."_

"_Do the memories keep you awake at night?"_

"_You people dope me up at night. How would anything keep me awake? It doesn't keep me from dreaming though, whatever you've got me on. If I have nightmares, it's because you force me to sleep and dream."_

"_You can't stay awake indefinitely, Reno. No one can."_

"_I bet I could break the world record."_

"_Tell me what you dream about at night."_

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Summer, 2005

"It really sucks that you have so much homework to do this summer, man." Zack looked at Reno sympathetically, but Axel just snorted.

"That's what he gets for being too smart. Rude has to do extra homework this summer too I heard."

Reno nodded. "Yeah, but he's being advanced a grade in his history and English classes, so we can't even work on homework together since mine is all math." Zack grimaced.

"A summer of math homework. I don't understand how you like it so much, seriously." Reno's only response was a noncommittal grunt, and Zack shrugged. "Well, if you get finished earlier than you expect to, you know where to find us!"

"Yeah. Have fun I guess…" Reno knew where to find them, all right. They would be spending the entire day at the beach, having fun in the perfect weather while he would be stuck in the house – and he _wouldn't_ be doing homework all day. The homework he'd been assigned over the summer was easy for him, and he was already well ahead of where he needed to be. He wouldn't – couldn't – tell them that though; homework was the only viable excuse he had for staying home so often that summer, when Aimee was at work and Axel was headed out the door. Reno needed that excuse; his father would expect nothing less.

Reno's "encounters" with his father had only increased over the course of the previous school year, especially after Reno entered puberty and became capable of ejaculating. Now, well into the next summer, they had moved well past simple touching and grinding. As Reno had expected, his father was waiting in his bedroom again when he got home. As usual, he was sitting on Reno's bed, watching with that oddly emotionless expression as he came through the door. "Take off your clothes." He did as he was bade, trying to ignore the new items, the bottle of lotion and the single latex glove, sitting on the bed at his father's side. He didn't have to ask what to do next; he'd gotten good at this over the past couple of months.

He started off slowly, dragging his tongue lightly up the underside of his father's cock before wrapping his lips around the head. He bobbed his head shallowly for the first few minutes, swirling his tongue around as he stroked the shaft with one hand. He used his other hand to cup his father's testicles, stroking them with his thumb and tugging gently when he bobbed his head down.

James moaned, beginning to rock his hips, and Reno took that as his signal to move, swinging his hind end around until his hip touched the side of the bed. This gave him a better angle to begin deepthroating, and gave his father easier access to run a hand along his back, his buttocks. James pumped his hips up into his son's hot, moist mouth, groaning as Reno began to suck, working his throat muscles t the same time to contract tightly around his tip. He spent a few minutes rubbing a heavy hand down his son's back, enjoying the feel of the soft, warm skin shifting beneath his palm. Then he removed his hand, and Reno heard the snap of a glove being pulled on, the heavy squelch of lotion being pumped out and smeared over latex-covered fingers. He focused on the task in front of him, trying not to flinch when he felt a slick finger slip along his crack and rub small circles over his entrance. It was an unwelcome sensation, but not entirely unexpected; if he'd had time to think about it, Reno would probably have been surprised that it had taken so long to happen.

He didn't falter when that first finger slipped inside, merely grunting a little in surprise. A sharp, heavy thrust rewarded him for the noise, and he remembered that his father liked that, enjoyed the feel of the vibrations running along his cock. He made more noise then, moaning along the downstroke, and did his best to ignore the finger that quickened its movements inside him. He couldn't ignore it for long, however, as it brushed over a small bundle over nerves inside of him. He jerked, choking, his shout muffled around his father's member. He was immediately ashamed of how quickly he felt his body tighten, his nipples and penis both hardening and becoming rigid; of how he instinctively bowed his back to raise his hips higher and push himself back onto the finger, seeking the sensation again.

James approved of the reaction, not even minding the choking since it simply created more pleasurable contractions around his dick. He fisted his free hand in Reno's hair, rocking his hips into a faster rhythm and forcing his son's head to match the pace. He increased the pace with his finger at the same time, stroking across the spot over and over again. Reno couldn't stop his own hips from beginning to roll in time with the thrusting, couldn't stop the loud moans and high-pitched whimpers escaping his throat. He was too caught up in the moment to notice any discomfort when the second feeling was added; he only know that now there were two digits stroking him, scissoring and massaging that lump until he was practically screaming, his hips spasming and precum dripping in a continuous stream from his own penis.

He did notice the discomfort of the third finger, and tears rolled down his cheeks to drip unceremoniously on his father's groin, hating himself for his body's reactions, for enjoying the feeling of being stretched and stroked. His father wasn't deterred by the tears; if anything, he was only spurred on more by them. His thrusts became more erratic, and before long the fingers were removed, to Reno's displeasure and relief. Then his head was roughly jerked back and his father stroked himself once, twice, and began to cum. Reno opened his mouth obediently, catching the thick ribbons of semen on his face and tongue.

As he knew his father expected him to, he settled on his knees and leaned back, allowing his erection to jut out and bob feely in front of his body, the leaking tip brushing his navel and leaving small smears of precum in its wake. He then wiped a hand across his face, smearing it with his father's seed before bringing his hand down to stroke himself. There were still tears staining his face, and now that his father was no longer touching him he was calm enough to be ashamed and humiliated again so he made it quick, jerking himself off with hard, fast strokes. He came quickly across his chest and abdomen, and wasted little time in cleaning himself off, sucking the cum off of his fingers as he wiped it off of his face and body.

James stood then, pulling his glove off and dropping it on the floor for Reno to clean up. Reno bowed his head, expecting his father to leave as normal, so he didn't see the hand swinging towards his face. The slap snapped his head to the side and left him gasping for breath at the sudden shock of it. The backhand caught him with even more force, bowling him over and making him knock his head against the ground. "Don't you ever cry when I'm in here with you again." The door clicked sharply when he closed it behind him.

Reno wiped himself off with a pack of wet wipes under his bed, then climbed under the covers, knocking the bottle of lotion off the bed as he did so. Then he curled in on himself and wept. He was disgusted with himself; only a filthy_ whore_ could actually enjoy this.

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Winter, 2005

Axel stared at the presents piled under the Christmas tree, frowning. Every year, he and Reno got more or less the same amount of presents, some of them the same exact thing. When one of the twins wanted something special they sometimes had an extra present, although more often than not both boys would wind up getting the extra item. This year, however, something had changed. Axel wasn't bothered by the reduced number of presents under the tree; their father was still out of work, and he knew their mother had had to pick up extra shifts at her restaurant and work a lot of overtime to get them presents at all this year. What bothered him was the fact that most of the presents were for _him_; Reno had hardly anything waiting under the tree, and it didn't make sense.

"Did Reno ask for a really big gift that's out in the garage this year, or something?" He glanced over at his family, only to notice his mother ignoring him, face buried in a magazine, his father staring at him with a strange, emotionless expression, and Reno arching an eyebrow, the hint of an arrogant smirk gracing his features.

"Money's tight this year Axel, remember? _I_ told them I didn't _want_ any special presents for Christmas this year; it wasn't fair to make Mom have to work so much extra for things we don't need."

Axel gaped at him, hurt. Why would Reno do something like that without telling him? The two brothers usually made decisions like that together, or at least told one another if they were going to do something that serious, but lately Reno hadn't been talking to Axel much at _all_, and now this? Reno's smirk widened a fraction and Axel turned away abruptly, trying to hide both the scowl and the tears that burned behind his eyelids and threatened to fall. He didn't have to be so damned smug and _arrogant_ about it. His stomach churned when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw their father brush a hand through Reno's hair. "Good boy."

The rest of the morning passed by in silence, broken only by the quiet crinkling of wrapping paper. Reno received socks, underwear, a few shirts and a new pair of jeans. _Axel_ got all of the above, plus books, CDs, and the new iPod that he'd wanted. Now he hardly wanted _any_ of it. Through it all, Reno stared at him, blue eyes cool and calculating. Axel couldn't help but wonder if he just wanted to see for himself how much he'd been hurt. When the presents were finished and the wrapping paper cleaned up, Axel retreated to his room, feeling ill.

-o-o-o-

Over at Zack's house, things were another story. Genesis, whose parents had left him alone for the holidays in favor of going to Paris, and Sephiroth, whose father was stuck in Midgar on business, had both been invited over by Zack and Angeal's mother, Gillian. The three older boys sat in the living room, laughing as Zack bounced around excitedly, passing out presents to everyone. Over the years, everyone had expected Zack to calm down as he got older and lose a little bit of his childish exuberance. He defied expectations, however, and few people could honestly say that they were disappointed by it. He, like Sora Strife, was the kind of person whose smile could light up a room, and everyone was happy to have him around. The mood in the Hewley house was lighthearted and cheerful, and it wasn't until around noon, after presents and Christmas brunch were through, that the mood became more serious.

"I wonder if Reno got anything cool this year?" Zack fiddled with his new football cheerfully, wondering if it was too early to call his friend and find out. Sephiroth didn't appear to have heard the question, trying to figure out what purpose a pair of fuzzy handcuffs – a present from Genesis intended as a gag gift, although he didn't realize it – could possibly have, but Angeal and Genesis exchanged a somber glance before turning to Zack.

"Zack, we've been meaning to talk to you about Reno. You know he's been in our math class all year?" Zack nodded, and Angeal continued, "Don't you think he's been acting a little weird lately, a lot quieter than normal? He used to be almost as outspoken as you."

Zack frowned, thinking about it. "I guess so… I just figured now that he's advanced a grade in his math class, he's just growing up like everyone always says they expect _me_ to. He doesn't talk to us or hang out with the band as much now, but that's just because he's always working on his math homework…"

Sephiroth looked up from his handcuffs at that, frowning. "_What_ math homework? We hardly ever get any."

Zack blinked. "But… he always goes straight home instead of hanging out with us like he used to, and when we ask he always says he has a lot of math homework to work on! Why… why would he lie to us about that?" The boys all glanced around at one another, worrying. Something weird was going on with Reno, and none of them had a good feeling about it.

-o-o-o-

"…and he's being a complete jerk about it! It's like he did it on purpose just to make me look bad, and Mom and Dad have both ignored me all morning!" Axel lay on his bed, holding his cell phone close to his ear with one hand and gesturing wildly with the other, even though Roxas couldn't see it.

"_Why would he do that though? Doesn't he usually talk to you about that kind of thing?"_

"That's just it, Rox. He hardly bothers talking to me at _all_ lately, like I'm not even worth his time."

On the other end of the call Roxas frowned, fingering his wristband idly as he thought about it. _"He's been acting really strange lately, don't you think?"_

Axel scoffed. "What, you mean _besides_ all arrogant and distant from everyone?"

"_Maybe not arrogant, but he __**has**__ been really distant with everyone lately… ever since the summer, really. It's like something's been bothering him, but he hasn't said anything to anyone about it."_

Axel frowned. "You're right. He _has_ been acting weird since summertime… That's when he started making up excuses about his math homework to avoid hanging out with everyone. He's practically abandoned the band; all he does is hang out at home alone now. Zack and Rude are never over any more either; I bet he's not talking to them either."

"_Something's wrong with him, Axel, and I don't believe for a second that any of the rumors about him having a girlfriend or some stupid thing over on the main island are true. I think something is really, really wrong…"_

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Spring, 2006

In spite of their misgivings, none of the people close to Reno were ever able to get him to open up about what was wrong. That second semester of seventh grade passed in much the same way as the first had. Reno continued to isolate himself from those around him, although now he attempted to alienate Axel as much as possible when their friends weren't around to see. Although Axel did his best to keep his conversation with Roxas in mind and to continue being supportive of his brother, it was difficult not to grow bitter, and he found himself avoiding talking about Reno whenever the topic came up with his friends.

The rumors about Reno grew worse that semester as well. Setzer, arguably one of the worst bullies on the island, was quick to spread new lies about the redhead, moving from rumors about a secret girlfriend to tales of gangs and alcohol and drugs on the main island. Axel, hurting as he was, did little to dispel the rumors, merely saying when asked that he knew nothing of any trips to the larger island. As a result, many people outside of the twins' closest circle of friends passed the rumors along, and even started to believe them.

As for that circle of friends, only a few made continuous efforts to stand by Reno's side; the others, although still supportive of him, allowed him to keep his distance, hanging out more with Axel instead. Of those final few, Zack and Rude were the most persistent. Zack was indefatigable in his attempts to include Reno back in the old group and make him smile again. Rude was much quieter in his efforts, for which Reno found himself thankful. Rude gave him the space that he needed outside of school, but always sat next to him in the classes they had together or at lunch, where he always brought extra baked goods from his mother to share. Reno looked forward to these moments, and was too grateful to have him as a friend to make a concerted effort to drive him away. As it turned out, he didn't have to.

"I'll be leaving this summer." Reno looked up sharply from his lunch.

"What do you mean, leaving? Where are you going?"

Rude sighed, fiddling with the cellophane wrapper for his sandwich. "You remember that special program in Zanarkand? For the advanced students? We talked about applying, remember?"

Reno stilled, looking down at his food. He remembered, all right. He and Rude had both been going to apply for it; Rude for his history and English classes, Reno for his math. They had always talked about travelling to Zanarkand together; Reno's family probably wouldn't be able to go, so he was going to stay with Rude and his mother during the three-year course of studies. Rude had apparently applied as planned, and had been accepted. Reno, on the other hand, hadn't dared. If he'd applied and gotten accepted, Axel would have been left at home alone… with their father. The idea was out of the question, and he'd put it out of his mind. Rude, obviously, had not.

"Yeah, I remember, Rude. You'll be gone for three whole years…"

"And then I'll be back. It's not forever, and we can still call each other or write letters."

"…Yeah."

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Fall, 2008

"_Did you feel betrayed that Rude was going to Zanarkand?"_

"_Why would I feel betrayed?"_

"_He went on the trip that you were supposed to take without you, and he left you alone. Surely that upset you?_

_Reno shrugged and crossed his arms, a defensive pose that Dr. Gast was very familiar with by now. It was unlikely that Reno would answer any more questions now. "I was trying to get rid of them anyway, him and Zack. Why should it bother me?"_

"_Ah, yes. Zack left that year too didn't he, to Midgar?"_

"_What does that have to do with anything?"_

"_It must have been hard on you, losing your last close friends at the same time."_

_He shifted in his seat, glancing up at the clock. "Is it time for lunch yet? I'm hungry."_

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A/N:

A little bit longer this time, but I don't know if I'm going to wind up doing any "long" chapters like in _The Reaper_.

Let the self-isolation and self-loathing begin… Poor Reno :-/ I think I'm going to have him use the same excuse every chapter to end the sessions :p

**Favrite of Chaos – **Don't worry, I didn't think it was spam-like :) Believe me when I say that I understand completely, heh. I actually wrote out a full summary of this story, which I haven't done for my other ones, so I'll probably have an easier time finishing this one (it probably helps that it's set in an Earth-like universe too, instead of a Final Fantasy universe – makes it a lot easier to picture the situation I think). Aaaanyway, thanks again, and good luck with yours :)

**RabidYaoiFanboy – **Hey, thanks for the review :) I wouldn't get too excited over my other stuff, I haven't updated it for a while now, heh. I figured I'd better include dates this time or else I'd get myself completely lost with the timeline :p I kind of wish I'd done the same thing with my other stories (if I didn't have to re-upload every chapter for them to fix it, I'd probably go back and change them now)

Reviews are appreciated, as ever.


	4. Ch 3 Hate

**Warnings:** some language

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Chapter Three – Hate

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Winter, 2008

"_Last time we met, we were speaking about Rude and Zack leaving you."_

"_You open up these sessions with some really obvious, stupid lines. I know what we finished up with, I have a perfect memory, remember?"_

"_Of course, Reno. It's really just for continuity in the recordings." Reno merely rolled his eyes, so Dr. Gast continued. "Did you continue speaking with your friends after they left the Island?"_

"_Sure, for a while. Zack's a pretty tough person to turn away, so it took me a while to get him to leave me alone." Gast gazed at him, expecting him to continue, but Reno stared back placidly, apparently not intending to go on._

"_And what about Rude?"_

"_Rude? I told you last time that I was __**glad**__ that he was still my friend, that I wasn't trying to push him away. I guess he wasn't as glad to have __**me**__ as __**his**__ friend though… he's the one who stopped talking to __**me**__."_

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Spring, 2007

Reno's first semester of 8th grade was unpleasant, to say the least. After Rude's departure, Reno only had Zack left to support him at home. Unfortunately for Reno, Zack was as persistent as ever in trying to "rehabilitate" his friend, and it didn't take long for Reno to begin wishing that Zack would simply leave him alone; he pried into Reno's personal affairs far deeper than Reno was comfortable with. By the time the semester ended, Reno had pushed Zack away as far as possible… and then his wish came true, although not in the way Reno had expected.

Shortly before the winter holidays ended, Zack had announced that he, too, was leaving. His father had been transferred to Midgar on the Mainland, and Zack didn't know when – or if – he and Angeal would return. His relationship with Reno had deteriorated to the point where he didn't bother trying to contact the redhead after his departure. The rumors about Reno grew worse over the school year, and he soon found that his phone calls with Rude were his only solace. He had successfully wounded Axel to the point where his brother would barely even look at him, let alone speak with or support him in any way. Although this was what Reno had been after, it was painful, and Rude was the only one he had left to turn to. Soon, however, even his most enduring friend began to desert him.

It began with an odd note to Rude's voice; he began to sound awkward when he spoke to Reno. Then awkwardness turned to discomfort, and then the calls began decreasing. Reno didn't hear from Rude as often, and his own calls went unanswered, his messages unreturned. By the end of the semester, he stopped contacting Reno entirely. Reno didn't _really_ know why Rude didn't want to speak with him anymore, but he could only assume that Rude had finally realized what Reno had known all along: he was disgusting – _trash_ – and not worth being friends with in any way.

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Summer, 2007

Axel was having a better summer than he'd had for the past few years. He'd discovered that so long as he stayed out of the house and away from Reno, his brother didn't bother him nearly as much; he stopped focusing on alienating Axel, and took to ignoring him instead. It still wasn't the way Axel wanted it to be, but at least it was better than the open hostility that Reno had been showing him. Even better, their father was finally paying attention to him again.

Conversely, that summer without friends was the longest of Reno's life. Reno had expected the cruel rumors to persist, but he was still surprised at how much they hurt him. Now without Rude to talk to at night, he had no one to turn to when his days were rough. To make matters worse, his plan of driving Axel away from the house and at the same time away from their father was no longer working; the other day he had been shocked to walk around the corner into the kitchen and see Axel and James standing together, their father's hand resting lightly on Axel's head, a thumb idly stroking his hair. James' face had that cold, blank look on it, but Axel didn't notice. He had spotted Reno round the corner and was peering up at him with a small smirk on his lips. Finally, it was _his_ turn to get noticed around here, and he was very much enjoying the stunned look on Reno's face.

Reno, for his part, was trying very hard not to show how ill he was feeling. James didn't show affection just for the sake of showing it; not since losing his job. He was after _some_thing, and Reno was damned if it was going to be his brother.

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Fall, 2007

"I didn't _fucking_ do anything! You're all a bunch of goddamn idiots for even _listening_ to that lying _snake_!"

The social workers glanced over at their police escort. Usually when a teenager called child services to try and get a sibling taken away, it was a deceit of some kind; more often than not, it was the child making the accusations that needed to be removed from the household – usually needing some kind of psychological help. In this case, however, they had to admit that the subject they were there to inspect really _did_ seem to be the one in need of removal. The boy was acting _extremely_ unstable and aggressive. It didn't help his case that many of the townspeople had corroborated the stories about Axel's cruelty towards his brother, citing many occasions on which Reno had showed up to school with black eyes and clearly visible handprints on his face. The boy was taller and stockier than his older twin, so it wasn't difficult to believe that he was the aggressor in the relationship.

Reno watched the scene in the living room from the doorway, staring quietly at his brother. It had taken him a while to set the stage for this. It was fairly easy to convince Axel that he was jealous of their father's divided attentions; turning Axel's spiteful condescension into loathing was and equally simple task. The hard part was turning the rest of the town's opinions against Axel instead of him. In the end he was able to plant rumors with Setzer's group of cronies about Axel hitting him; people quickly brought up the summer two years ago, when Reno had showed up at Zack's house with a handprint on his face, and Reno hadn't needed to do anything else. For once the rumors worked in his favor, and by the time school was close to starting up again, almost everyone believed that Axel was abusing his brother.

Axel saw Reno standing there and snarled, pointing furiously at him. "He's just jealous because he's not the 'golden boy' of the house any more, he's not the one getting good grades and getting picked for the sports teams, he's just throwing a little _bitch_ fit because Dad's paying attention to me and not spending all of his time with _him_ anymore!"

The social workers stared at James questioningly. If he confirmed that the boys were in some sort of competition for attention, then it was highly doubtful that the older twin was entirely blameless in the whole mess. This was starting to look like they might actually have to do an investigation, instead of simply removing the wayward child.

"I'm sorry, I honestly have no idea what he's talking about."

Or maybe not. The social workers nodded to their escort, and one of the police officers stepped forward to take Axel by the arm. The workers didn't notice the brief glance between James and Reno, but Axel did. It was glaringly obvious to him what was going on here, even if the social workers were too blind to see it. Reno was so jealous that he wasn't getting all of the attention that he'd called social services to take him away; Axel didn't know why their father would take Reno's side in things, but he obviously had no friends in this household.

Reno touched Axel's arm lightly as he passed by, and Axel turned to glare at him. "I love you, Axel. You'll understand all of this someday."

Reno's words were soft, his gaze sad, but Axel's voice and gaze were both harsh, poisonous. "I _hate_ you."

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Winter, 2008

"_Your father must not have been very pleased when you thwarted his plans for your brother like that."_

"_You're sure some kind of genius, huh?" Reno laughed humorlessly. "It's not like he could do anything about it at the time; he knew I would have told them what was going on, to protect Axel."_

"_If you had told someone, you would have been free from him. You could have fixed things with your brother, stopped it before your father almost killed you. Why didn't you tell anyone?"_

"_**You**__ don't understand. Why would anyone else?"_

"_Understand what?"_

_Reno stared at him like he was an idiot. "Well, that it was my fault. I deserved it."_

_Dr. Gast leaned forward, frowning at his troubled ward. It had taken nearly half a year to get Reno to even speak about his past at all; now was the first time that the teen had said anything that Gast could actually use to try and get into his mind, to finally begin __**helping**__ him. He needed to be careful now to keep Reno from retreating into his usual defensive posture, although he had to admit to himself that it was extremely unlikely that Reno would continue to speak this session. "Reno, what exactly makes you believe that you deserved what happened to you?"_

_Reno studied him for a few moments, tapping his fingers restlessly inside the sleeves of his straitjacket. "You get paid to study people, but I bet I'm just as good at it as you; I've been here long enough to have learned your game. Your whole posture just changed; whatever I just said is some kind of 'ticket in' to you, isn't it?"_

"_You make it sound as though I think of you as a meal ticket, Reno. This isn't about me, it's about me helping __**you**__. Will you answer my question?"_

_Reno glanced up at the clock. "I'm hungry. Can I go now?"_

_Dr. Gast sighed. At least now he'd made the first crack in Reno's armor; it would be easier to get him to speak again at the next session. "Yes. I'll call the orderlies to come get you."_

_He watched closely when the orderlies came in, noting the way Reno's face went blank at the sight of the mask. He couldn't __**quite**__ hide the despondent look in his eyes, however, and Gast made a quick decision. "Leave the mask. We'll keep him under twenty-four-hour monitoring until we can be sure that it won't be a problem."_

_Reno was quick to try and hide the look of surprised relief on his face, but he couldn't quite keep the corners of his mouth from twitching. The shadow of a smile graced his face as he left Dr. Gast's office, walking out without his mask for the first time._

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A/N:

Whew, took me long enough to get _this_ one finished! I started and stopped it so many times that I'm worried it might be a little choppy, but I've been working on it too much for a read-through to help me any. So, if anybody agrees that it's choppy, feel free to offer tips for improvement :p

That out of the way, the next chapter _should_ catch us up in the timeline, so that the flashbacks link up with Reno's current time in the mental hospital. You'll get to find out how he went from getting Axel sent away to getting institutionalized himself, and from there it'll only take a paragraph or two to catch up his time in the hospital, since I already talked about his hospital time in the prologue.

Regarding Axel getting sent away, yes, it's insanely unrealistic I know, but… as you're going to continue seeing throughout this story, social services in this world really aren't up to snuff. At all.

And… regarding my next update, I have a pretty clear view of how the chapter's going to go, so once I start typing it up it should go pretty quickly. The problem is, I'm going to SERE school tomorrow, so I'm going to be cut off from the rest of the world for three weeks. Meaning no update for another month probably. Sorry about the timing, but… life's like that sometimes I guess :-/

**Reviews!**

**Favrite of Chaos – **well, he stayed close as long as he could, I suppose… thanks for the support :)

**scriobhneoir45! – **thanks for the review :) this chapter isn't as emotional I think, but the next one should be a good one :)

**hilleri94 – **thanks for the praise, heh. Sorry it took so long to update anything, hopefully the next one doesn't take such a long time :p

**celestial secrets – **the abuse was discovered prior to the suicide attempt (he was already admitted to the hospital before he tried to kill himself). The next chapter should catch us up to that point, so you'll be able to see what happened to him :)

**EnvysXsin** – hopefully I'll be able to catch up the timeline in the next chapter, and I can stop with the flashbacks and actually get the main plot rolling, hehe. There's so much backstory to cover though, and I find that I've really enjoyed structuring the story this way. Anywho, thanks for the review ;)


	5. Ch 4 Broken

**Warnings:** language, rape

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Chapter Four - Broken

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Winter, 2008

"_When we left off, we were discussing Axel being taken away, and why you never told anyone what was happening."_

_Reno eyed Dr. Gast, frowning. He was glad that he didn't have to wear the mask any more, and he was worried that if he replied with his usual hostility, the doctor would make him wear it again. Dr. Gast didn't seem to be the type to punish him like that, but Reno knew better than most that you couldn't always take people at face value in this world. Shrugging slightly, he answered anyway. "Actually, I'm pretty sure we left off last time discussing your reasons for being a shrink. It must take a pretty fucked up person to enjoy listening to crazy people's miserable lives."_

_Dr. Gast gave a short laugh. "I don't do this because I enjoy hearing about the depravities that people are capable of committing, Reno. I do this because I want to try and help people overcome the obstacles that life has given them."_

"_This isn't the Special Olympics, Doc. You get a __**way**__ better paycheck than that."_

_Gast shook his head. This was a common delaying tactic of Reno's; before Gast had gotten used to the boy's antics, he'd spent entire sessions debating philanthropy and his reasons behind being his current job, and Reno had been able to walk out of those sessions without talking about himself a single time. Unfortunately for the boy, it didn't take Gast long to learn better, and in the meantime he was able to put together an accurate profile on the teen's level of intelligence and debate capabilities. Although the first few sessions during which Reno actually __**spoke**__ had been more or less wasted, it made it easier for Gast to pick his way around Reno's mind games later on._

"_As I've said on numerous occasions, this is about me helping you, not about a paycheck. However, I can see that you're still not ready to explain what you mean by 'you deserved it,' so why don't you tell me what happened after Axel was taken away?"_

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Spring, 2008

Reno's excuse for having Axel removed by Child Services lasted for longer than he'd expected. His father, apparently concerned by the visit from the social workers, refrained from hitting him in the face or any other visible body parts, limiting his blows to Reno's torso or backside. It wasn't really an improvement in treatment, but it at least gave more time for Axel to be placed somewhere far away from home. By the time winter rolled around, James was back to his usual habits, but Winter Break came up quickly, and Reno didn't have to face anyone with a bloodied face.

When Winter Break ended and school started up again, however, Reno's troubles began anew. He no longer had an excuse for the bruises and small cuts that frequently littered his face, and people started to ask questions again. He was able to explain away most of them by spreading Setzer's old rumors that he was getting into drugs and fights on the main island, but the renewed focus brought more attention to him than he was willing to handle. It wasn't long before he found himself having to fend off questions from his old friends again, his heart breaking all over again at having to push Sephiroth and Genesis away a second time.

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Reno crossed his fingers and mumbled quick prayer under his breath as he walked up the steps to his front door. His father had had another job interview that day. It had been a while since he'd applied for a job, and Reno hoped with all his heart that the interview had been successful. His father was always ten times as unpleasant when he failed an interview, and getting a job might mean that he'd finally leave Reno alone. He could tell as soon as he opened the door that his hopes were in vain. The atmosphere inside the house was so oppressive and hateful that he could almost choke on it.

James was nowhere to be seen when he entered the house, and Reno crept up the stairs. It was stupid, four years after it had all started, to still hope that his father wouldn't be waiting for him, but he couldn't help it. Hoping for some sort of change was the only way he kept himself going any more. As usual, he shouldn't have bothered with hope; James was standing next to his desk when Reno opened his bedroom door.

Reno had only a moment to be surprised that his father was standing near the door instead of sitting on the bed like usual, before his father's heavy fist came crashing into the side of his head. The blow stunned him, and he didn't have any time to react before James was on him, kicking and punching whatever body parts he could reach. Reno curled in on himself, desperately trying to protect his head and chest, but he only received several harsh kicks to his fingers and the sides of his ribs in return. He could hear and feel bones cracking, and he was almost unconscious from the pain by the time his father finally stopped.

The cessation of the blows wasn't a real respite; James picked him up and bodily hurled him onto the bed, ripping at his clothes as soon as he landed. Reno struggled immediately, the pain sending him into fight or flight mode and making him forget all of the conditioning that usually kept him compliant. James hit him in the face several more times for his efforts, snarling at him that this was _all his fault_ before finally getting his pants off.

Despite the vicious beating and all of the abuse over the years, Reno still wasn't expecting his father to shove in without any lube or preparation. The scream that tore from his lips was involuntary as James buried himself to the hilt before pulling back out and slamming back in repeatedly. The pain from the violent penetration coupled with the agony of his broken ribs made Reno black out temporarily; he came to in time to feel his father cum inside of him. James pulled out immediately after, giving his son a disgusted glare before pulling his pants back up.

He snapped out a harsh warning to not even _think_ about skipping school the next day, and then he left, slamming the bedroom door shut behind him.

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Everyone stared when Reno limped through the school doors the next day. His face was a mottled mask of bruises, and twin crescents carved under his eyes were scabbed over with dried blood and pus, underscoring the deep black rings around his eyes. He hadn't bothered putting on long sleeves that day, and once people were able to tear their eyes away from his ruined face, they were inevitably drawn to his arms, which were also littered with bruises and scratches. His limp and labored breathing suggested other more serious injuries, and everyone who saw him immediately fell silent and stared.

It was Seifer, of all people, who first thought to alert a faculty member. Seifer had never been part of Reno or Axel's close circles of friends, and he'd often gotten into scraps with both brothers, but he'd been one of the few who had never bought into the rumors that Setzer had spread about either of them. He'd considered them friends, in a way, and as someone who frequently got into fist fights, he knew immediately that this was something a lot more serious.

The first teacher he found was Lexaeus, and the burly gym teacher immediately followed him to the freshman lockers, where Reno was futilely trying to force his swollen fingers to turn the combination for his lock.

"Reno?"

Reno froze for a second, before he recognized the voice behind him. He turned to face Lexaeus, noting as he turned that Genesis and Sephiroth were part of the crowd of onlookers, watching him with fear and concern on their faces. He ignored both them and Seifer, who was standing right next to Lexaeus, as he eyed the gym teacher warily. He worked his jaw for a few moments before forcing out a sound, and Lexaeus' eyes were inexorably drawn to the handprint wrapping around his throat. "Leave me alone." His voice was a rasping whisper, and Lexaeus frowned; by the time he processed what Reno had said, the redhead was already turning back to his locker.

Lexaeus' eyes narrowed, and he started forward. It was painfully obvious that someone had abused the boy, and he wasn't leaving until he found out what happened. He reached out to tough Reno's shoulder, and all hell broke loose.

Reno jerked away at the contact, crashing into the wall of lockers, before spinning around, eyes wide and panicked. _"Don't __**touch**__ me!" _The screaming words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he froze again, panting harshly as he stared at the man in front of him. Lexaeus was similarly frozen, shocked. Every teacher was required to attend Sexual Assault Prevention and Reduction classes, and it wasn't hard to pair Reno's physical condition and extreme response to a simple touch with the reactions of a rape victim. It was only instinct and quick reflexes that broke him out of his stupor in time to catch the boy when he bolted, and as he snagged Reno's arm he barked at the surrounding student to clear out and get to class.

Reno immediately started fighting his grip, flailing with fists and feet in a desperate attempt to free himself, so Lexaeus gathered him in closer, binding his arms as quickly as he could. He was rewarded with a vicious bite to his forearm, and he ground his teeth, snapping at Genesis, Sephiroth, and Seifer, who had ignored his orders to leave, to go get the nurse. They ran off immediately, and Lexaeus desperately tried to get Reno to calm down, doing his best to ignore the teeth that were still clamped on to his arm, drawing blood as they bit down harder and harder.

The nurse arrived quickly, joining Lexaeus in trying to calm the struggling teen. "I told those three to stay in the office and call 911," she stated. "There should be an ambulance here soon." Lexaeus nodded, withstanding the urge to just put Reno in a choke hold so that he'd stop biting his arm. He hadn't released his vicious hold yet, despite his attempts to spout profanities at them at the same time, and Lexaeus was starting to worry that he was going to lose a sizeable chunk out of his arm. Fortunately, the hospital was only a short drive away from the high school, and the paramedics arrived quickly.

The police arrived a few minutes later, just in time to see Reno, now heavily sedated, being loaded into the ambulance. They were grim when they asked Lexaeus what happened, having seen Reno's face before the ambulance doors were closed, and the decision to track down and arrest his parents was an easy one to make.

Reno spent the next several days sedated in the hospital; it was only when the doctors felt it safe to lower the dosage on his medications that he learned that his parents were in jail. His father had admitted to sexually abusing him for the past four years, and his mother had rather angrily admitted to knowing about it, furious that his father would have chosen to have sex with his son rather than with her. _He_ would be headed for death row for his crimes; _she_ would be headed for a much lighter sentence for neglect. None of this mattered to Reno at the time; he had barely been holding himself together when he walked into school that day, and that first touch on his shoulder by Lexaeus had made something within him snap. He started screaming and trying to break free of the hospital as soon as his medications were reduced enough, and the doctors were forced to restrain and fully sedate him again. The next time he was aware of anything, he was on his way to the Twilight Mental Hospital.

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Winter, 2008

"_But how did you get the scars on your face?"_

_Reno stared. "What part of my father raping and nearly killing me didn't you understand? How do you __**think**_ _I got these scars?"_

"_Why did he do it? Wasn't the rest enough? He'd never taken a weapon to you before."_

_Reno looked away, his face burning in embarrassment. "Not unless you consider his belt to be a weapon." Gast waited, and Reno huffed, crossing his arms. "Why did he ever do __**any**__thing? Maybe you should have __**him**__ in here instead, if you're so damned interested. He sure as fuck never explained anything to __**me.**__"_

_Gast sighed and glanced at the clock. "I suppose that's enough for today. You may return to your room."_

_Reno stared at him for a moment, completely thrown. "You're letting me go?"_

_Gast raised an eyebrow, confused. "Yes… I'm letting you return to your room, the same thing I do __**every**__ session."_

_Reno smirked. "Do I still get to go eat like normal?"_

_It was Gast's turn to stare blankly, before he realized what Reno meant. He chuckled, realizing that this was the first time he had ever called an end to a session without Reno complaining of hunger. "Yes, you can go eat. If you're hungry."_

_Reno's smile grew a little at the joke, and as the orderlies led him away, Gast reflected that it was the first time he'd ever seen Reno actually __**smile**__._

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A/N:

Thanks for all of your wonderful reviews, I'm just sorry that it took me so long to get you guys an update for this story. We've now finally reached the point where Reno's past catches up to the current time, so the structure of the story is probably going to change a little bit. I'd like to keep putting little snippets of Reno's sessions at the start of each chapter, but since the story will now be covering is time in the Mental Hospital and dealing with the sessions more directly, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep doing that.

In case anyone is wondering, no, Reno is _not_ going to be in the Mental Hospital for the remainder of the story. He'll be released eventually (although he doesn't currently think so :p), and the story will continue from there :)

As per usual, feel free to point out typos, grammar issues, etc. etc.

I look forward to seeing what you guys think about this chapter :)


	6. Ch 5 Sessions

**Warnings:** language, crazy people

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_**Chapter Five – Sessions**_

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_Winter, 2008_

"_Let's talk about your mother today."_

_Reno stared. "Why do you want to talk about __**her**__?"_

_Dr. Gast frowned, resting his elbows on the edge of his desk. "Well, she's the one person we haven't really discussed. Didn't she ever try to stop your father?"_

_Reno snorted, flexing his arms in the straitjacket and scowling at the ground. "Of course not. She was too busy working or __**whatever**__ to care what was happening to me. She __**never**__ cared."_

"_How did it make you feel, to have her ignore you that way? She's your mother, she's the one who should have protected you from __**any**__thing, right?"_

"_It made me feel fan-fucking__**-tastic**__, Doc," Reno sneered. "How the fuck do you __**think**__ it made me feel? I already told you I felt like I deserved it; she just made it worse."_

"_And how do you feel about her now?"_

_Reno's gaze was dark, staring up at him from beneath the fringe of his bangs. "__**You**__ said it… She's the one who was supposed to protect me. She could have stopped it if she'd bothered to try." He huffed, turning to glare at the wall. "I __**hate**__ her."_

_Gast frowned, observing his patient. He had seen many expressions on the boy's face over the past few months, but this cold disregard was a new one. He sighed after a moment; it was, unfortunately, an emotion that he couldn't really find fault with. Reno would eventually have to deal with his animosity towards his mother, but his opinion towards her was natural and, while not necessarily healthy, far more stable and manageable than most of his other problems. "All right, I suppose we can worry about that one later. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss today?"_

_Reno quirked an eyebrow at him. "You make it sound as though I wanted to discuss __**any**__ of this."_

_Gast settled back in his chair, tapping his fingers against the armrest. "Do you still feel that the so-called 'little victories' aren't worth it, that you'll never get well enough to be released? You've been making a lot of progress, you know."_

_Reno frowned, tucking his chin and pulling his knees up to his chest. "I don't know…" He shrugged uncomfortably. "I like not having to wear the mask any more… but I'm still in this jacket, still on lockdown up here on the fourth floor. Walking out the front door is pretty far away… and I don't really have anything waiting for me out there anyway. Is there really any __**point**__ to 'getting well' again?"_

_Dr. Gast sighed, wondering what the best response would be. Few patients on this floor were ever able to reach this point in their therapy, and only one, a former patient of his, had ever actually made it to the point of being released. It was a hard thing, giving a patient hope for the future without outright lying to them, and Gast didn't want to ruin the fragile bonds of trust that he'd managed to build with the boy._

_Reno, watching him, sighed. "Guess your silence says it all, huh? There's not really nay hope for me."_

_Gast frowned, leaning forward again. "That's not true, Reno. You don't realize how __**rare**__ it is for a patient on this level of the facility to even reach the point that you're at now. But it's easy to lose hope when you only have the little victories to go by. Not everyone __**has**__ the ability to move beyond their problems and get out of this place, but the ones who do get so caught up in what's __**wrong**__ with them that they lose sight of the bigger picture, and they forget that those small victories will eventually lead to something better. They give up, and then they lose any chance that they ever had._

"_But __**you**__, Reno, you have the capacity to heal, to make yourself better. You just have to keep reminding yourself, every day, that there's more for you than these blank walls that you see every day. You have to accept the little things as the __**victories**__ that they are, instead of just focusing on how small they seem._

"_As for what waits for you outside of these walls, who can say? I won't lie to you and say that every child in the foster system gets adopted. As a teenager with a rough past, your chances may be smaller than most. That doesn't mean that it's hopeless though, and it's always up to you how you let that sort of thing affect you. Even if you don't get adopted, that doesn't mean that you can't build a good life for __**yourself**__."_

"_How am I supposed to build anything good for myself or have any kind of hope when I've spent the past four years thinking I was worthless?"_

"_That's what I'm here to help you with."_

_Reno sighed, glancing up at the clock. "Lunch time."_

"_Right." Gast watched as the orderlies led Reno away, shutting off the recorder. At least now Reno was thinking about his path to rehabilitation; it was time to speak to the facility Director and see about giving the boy some more privileges. If he could start dispensing with the straitjacket and some of the sedatives, it might give Reno the extra boost he needed to start actively working towards his freedom._

* * *

The "cafeteria" was Reno's favorite place to go on the fourth floor. True, he had to be hand-fed because of his straitjacket, and after he ate they would sedate him so that they could remove the jacket and let his arms recover for a little while, but while he was still "sober," the large dining area was the most entertaining place he'd ever seen. There were _crazy_ people there.

Oh sure, he knew that he wasn't exactly the picture of sanity, or else he wouldn't be here tied up in a straitjacket and stoned out of his mind half the time, and he _knew_ that he was a terrible person for being amused at the others' expenses, but there was some seriously weird shit to see up here in the maximum security ward.

He always started with the orderlies. He figured you had to be a special kind of person to want to stand around babysitting the mentally incompetent all day, and most of the orderlies didn't disappoint his expectations. They were one and all muscle-bound men, to the point where Reno figured the hospital either had a great gym or a great deal on steroids. Once you got past the muscles, few of them had much going for them in the way of the looks department, and at least half of them were some of the most socially awkward people Reno had ever seen. He always spent the first few minutes of being in the cafeteria observing them with a barely-hidden smirk on his face, trying not to laugh as he watched the awkward ones try to hold conversations.

After sniggering at the orderlies for a while, Reno went on to observe the other patients. Some of them he truly felt sorry for; they were kept in straitjackets just like him, several in masks, but they were kept so numbed with sedatives and anti-psychotics that they simply sat there in a depressed haze, allowing themselves to be fed mindlessly. Others were far more lively and entertaining. Some of them sang while they were there – loudly and generally badly. Others spent the entire time cursing – at themselves, at the orderlies, at the other patients – and Reno used these opportunities to update his own vocabulary. A select few were allowed to be without straitjackets, and they tended to go from hurling insults at people to hurling food, which Reno thought was hilarious… particularly when an unobservant orderly got splattered.

Reno's own daytime orderlies, Frank and Sam, were remarkably tolerant of him, despite the fact that he spent a great deal of time laughing at the orderlies. He wasn't sure if they just pitied him or actually somewhat liked him, but he generally did his best to avoid laughing when they were the ones being insulted or covered in applesauce. In repayment, they generally did their best to bring him food that he liked, and to try and keep being spoon-fed from being as humiliating as possible. He figured it was an acceptable trade-off.

* * *

"_The orderlies tell me that you've been doing very well lately; the Director has agreed that we can begin dispensing with your sedatives at mealtimes."_

"_Oh yeah? So I can start feeding myself then?" Reno grinned, but Dr. Gast shook his head._

"_The orderlies __**also**__ tell me that you find it highly amusing when some of the other patients begin flinging their food around the cafeteria. I'm not sure that I'm ready to deal with you trying to start food fights just yet."_

_Reno sank back down in the couch, muttering under his breath. Gast couldn't help but chuckle._

* * *

Reno was excited to be able to move his arms without the "aid" of sedatives, even if he did still need someone else to feed him. He spent his "free time" drumming on the table, tapping his fingers, and poking Frank in the side whenever the orderly wasn't looking, snickering at Frank's exasperated sighs.

Sam was the first one who got the idea to bring in paper and crayons – possibly because he was worried that Reno would start messing with him next. Reno was delighted, drawing pictures of the orderlies, the other patients, and Dr. Gast. After a quick consult with the doctor, Frank even started taping the pictures up on Reno's walls for him.

After several days, however, even coloring began to get old. Reno began staging Crayon Wars, the primary and secondary colors versus the tertiary colors, and his loud antics quickly drew a small crowd of the other unrestrained patients. The Wars ended quickly though, when one of Reno's favorite "food-flingers" stole the red crayon and tried to eat it. The orderlies quickly found themselves trying to break up a frantic fight, with the primary colors' "supporters" extremely upset over the murder of one of their colors. Reno didn't help by laughing hysterically through the whole thing, and Gast decreed that any coloring would now have to be done in Reno's room before lights out.

* * *

"_He's been doing very well without his sedatives, but he's getting restless. He has a lot more energy now, and walking in the halls isn't doing enough to burn it off."_

_The Director sighed, rereading the report about the Crayon War fight in the cafeteria. Many of the patients who had been involved had refused to calm down, and they were now sedated and sleeping in their rooms. If there was a repeat of the incident, it could have serious repercussions on many of the patients' treatments._

"_Very well, you have my permission. He can go without the jacket if you feel it's safe, but he is to be closely monitored at all times."_

"_Understood, Sir."_

* * *

When Reno was led out of his room the next day, he immediately started to turn left, expecting to be taken to Dr. Gast's office for one of his sessions. He was startled, therefore, when Sam grabbed his arm and Frank took a shoulder, turning him the other direction. He was even more confused when they walked right past the cafeteria, turning down a hallway that Reno had never been allowed to use before, even on his nightly exercise walks. When they turned another corner and he spotted the elevator in front of him, his heart began to pound rapidly.

Dr. Gast was waiting for him on the first floor, keys for the straitjacket in his hand and a reassuring smile on his face. He had a pair of running shoes in his other hand, and the orderlies guided him over to a chair so that he could sit down. It was the first pair of shoes he'd worn in several months, and he stumbled a little when he stood up again, unused to the feeling. He walked slowly at first, still hesitant and confused, but when they walked into the lobby, and he realized that they were heading for the front door, he picked up the pace, almost tripping over his shoes again.

Gast laughed this time, catching his arm before he fell. "Relax, Reno. You'll get there faster if you don't fall along the way." Reno rolled his eyes, figuring there was probably a deeper meaning hidden in there somewhere, but he slowed down again, glancing up briefly at the doctor.

"Are we going somewhere today?"

Gast shook his head. "No, just outside. Normally patients are only allowed grounds privileges if they're on the third floor or lower, but I got special permission from the Director to bring you outside. We won't get to stay out long today, since this is just a probationary run, but if you do well today and the rest of the week, I'll be allowed to extend your time out here."

Reno frowned, thinking about it. "Is this because of the fight yesterday?"

Dr. Gast smiled wryly. "Let's just say that you've got a little too much energy compared to what we're used to up there, and the Director is worried that the other patients might have their treatments disrupted."

Reno smiled a little, and then they were at the door. He paused hesitantly at the threshold, looking outside. This was his first trip outside since his last trip to the main hospital, and that had hardly counted. The fourth floor didn't even have windows, and he was surprised to find himself with a nervous fluttering in the pit of his stomach at the sight of the blue skies. He looked over at Dr. Gast again, unable to completely hide the apprehension in his eyes. Gast gave him an encouraging smile, and stepped forward to open the door.

* * *

The cool breeze against his skin was amazing. Reno stared, almost overwhelmed, and barely reacted when Frank removed his straitjacket and replaced it with a light windbreaker. It was turning out to be an unseasonably warm winter, and if Reno hadn't known better, he would have thought it was early Fall. The breeze was crisp but not biting, and the leaves in all their multicolored hues were still on the trees. Reno smiled, taking a deep breath of fresh air before hopping quickly down the steps, seemingly forgetting that he had company.

Walking back inside when his "recess" was over was the hardest thing that he'd ever had to do.

**

* * *

**

A/N:

Sorry for such a long time between updates! Flight school has sucked away my life lol. Aaaand… sorry for the kind of crappy ending there. I wanted to write more about his first trip outside, but the words just weren't coming -sigh-

**Reviews**

**Devilchile – **thanks :)

**Thinmints – **heh, two in one day was just teasing you guys for the ridiculously long hiatus I was about to take, lol. Thanks ;)

**Axel no. VIII – **thanks :) they'll eventually meet up again someday, we'll just have to see how it works out for them ;)

**Faye juell - **thanks for the review! I haven't forgotten about it, I promise :) It just takes me a while to update sometimes, heh.

**Foo – **it shouldn't be _too_ much longer before Reno gets released, although he still has some road bumps to make it past before he gets there. It'll be a while before we find out about Rude though ;) thanks for the review :)


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